Talk:Cave Johnson

Image
There is a picture that says "Our Founder" in the Ratman Lair of the Companion Cube chamber, but his head is covered by a pic of the cube. Do you think it is him?--Sandwichman2449 16:03, 4 May 2008 (UTC)

Kotaku providewhat?
While I still doubt the image, is Kotaku's theory valid? I think a source is a least needed. Half Life is built on speculation and ambiguity, so rampant fan fiction and speculation that builds on speculation can easily weasel its way in all over. Also, what is with this "Kotaku provideth" comment? I take is as either a grammatical error or someone regarding Kotaku's speculation in a biblical sense.--User:Sandwichman2449 23:17, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Leaked Script
Where does one find this leaked script? I would love to see this script. 64.148.145.171 01:27, 29 December 2008 (UTC)

I believe this was the original source, it has the full audition script:. For some reason, Kotaku never posted the whole thing. I absolutely love the last two paragraphs in particular. --WarlockSoL 18:38, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Citations Needed
These will be delted untill someone can comeup with a citation.


 * While the Take-A-Wish Foundation was a failure, the government invested in the Heimlich Counter-Maneuver and the Portal Device. The Heimlich Counter-Maneuver was used against several members of dangerous Middle Eastern terrorist organizations, and the Portal Device was given tons of government funding and eventually came to fruition and was tested by test subjects like Chell in the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.


 * Cave Johnson will be a major character in the upcoming game. At this point of the game, he will apparently be a friend of the protagonist and be dead, but has been revived inside of a computer. From a casting call and leaked portions of the script, he appears to function much like GLaDOS did in the first game, initially helping the player before slowly becoming an antagonist while going insane. Cave is helpful towards the player, while simultaneously thinking about the afterlife and other issues, since he can do little other than think, now that he is dead.

Portal 2 Confirmation and Image Validation
Well, there a few things I'd like to address here. One, is Cave Johnson's appearance in Portal 2, a sequel which is definitely over the horizon. Back in June 2008, a supposed casting call for the role of Cave Johnson was leaked on the internet along with a sample of the Portal 2 script. While seemingly true, many questioned the sincerity of this leak and it remained ambiguous. However now in March 2010, a series of updates for Portal were released, and I'm too lazy to explain all of that, so I'll cut to it and show you: in these texts found in the new ARG, a letter from Cave Johnson was found. Some of the text in this letter is a direct match to that in the script excerpt, leading me to believe that it wasn't so fake after all. The matching quote is "''How good is the science here? Get a load a' this: I am dead! Now, yer probably askin' yourself, "Cave, come on now. How is this possible? Are you some manner of Dracula? Or Frankenstein? Or dependin' on yer cultural heritage, a Blackula or Latin Frankenstein? No sir! It's science. As of this mornin', yer old buddy Cave has been resurrected inside of a computer.''"

The other thing I wanted to say, was the validation of the image of Cave Johnson found in the same leak mentioned earlier. I'm pretty sure that the photo in the Ratman den with "our founder" written underneath with the photographed person's head covered by a Companion Cube, is the same portrait of Johnson as the leaked one, minus the cube. You can even see the outlines are the same. Anyway, that's what I'm thinking about the whole thing. - Halo-343 21:51, March 4, 2010 (UTC)


 * Although it may be Cave, the pictures are different. That just doesn't match. And as for the texts, yeah, it's real after all. Klow 23:22, March 4, 2010 (UTC)


 * Yes, the image was my mistake. I must have been thinking of something else. - Halo-343 18:45, March 5, 2010 (UTC)

A Couple Things
First of all, the use of the term "simple portal technology" as it relates to shower curtains is a bit of a joke. They're just shower curtains. Aperture Science was not selling anything resembling something that should justify linking to the "portal technology" page of the wiki.

Second of all, it's obvious why Cave was making mercury-lined shower curtains for the heads of the Navy - they screwed him out of even more money. The reason Aperture is so wealthy is government contracts - it's a play on government bureaucracy and corruption. Seeing as how the Navy was the only branch to deny his contract, Cave is attempting to assassinate them. This backfires on him due to his own ineptitude, causing his death.


 * Please sign your comments and/or register. It's inconvenient to talk to unsigned, disembodied, IP addresses.

If these shower curtains do not involve a portal technology, why is it said the name was kept to "appear more hygienic"? Why do they insist on that if it's obviously to be a standard curtain?... Klow 13:50, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

It's just a brand name. It's branding. The portal name is used to make the curtains "appear" more, hygienic which is far and away from them actually being more hygienic. Suggesting that Aperture was in the business of selling actual teleportation technology to the general populace is ridiculous. As is not getting why Cave made those mercury curtains for the Navy. 173.77.76.37 18:56, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * I guess you make sense, my friend. I'll rectify this. Klow 19:18, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Wait. What does "Early product line provides a very low-tech portal between the inside and outside of your shower." mean, then? A "very low-tech portal"?... Klow 19:38, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Any kind of doorway could be considered a "very lowtech portal." It's a gag. The Half-Life universe is crazy, but I'm pretty sure it's not crazy enough to have people using teleportation technology to step out of their showers in 1953. Also, I'd suggest simply removing the sentence "it is unknown why" at the end of the second paragraph. Let the reader figure out why Cave might have a grudge against the Navy. 173.77.76.37 21:17, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Also, it's worth noting that Cave didn't even come up with the idea of teleportation technology until he was on his death bed in 1979 173.77.76.37 21:26, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Why don't you register? You'd be a fine asset for the wiki! So I see your point about teleportation, it makes more sense to me now. One thing, however, about the Navy. While that grudge is plausible, there is no clear evidence of this. I don't know if the poisoned curtains are enough to blatantly say that the Navy didn't want his curtains. Klow 23:09, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Well here's how the Navy thing goes down:

Aperture gets a fat government contract to supply the Air Force and Army with shower curtains. This means a lot of money. I'm not sure how familiar you are with US history as it pertains to this kind of thing, but these kind of contracts a prone to corruption, where the company supplying the product makes ridiculous profits. $100 for a regular toilet seat, for example. These deals can also go down directly or indirectly because of bribes. This is also important because it's probably also where Aperture gets all its deep pockets to develop insane ideas like the Heimlich Counter-Maneuver.

The Navy being the only branch of the military not to sign on is significant, and likely seen as Cave as a direct insult. So he makes up shower curtains for the Navy Appropriations Committee - which is the group of people directly responsible for deciding who gets what contracts and how much money they get, etc.

I think it's pretty obvious to most readers with the knowledge of how these things work what happened and why, and the "it is unknown why" sentence only serves to cloud the issue.

Thanks for the compliment! I'll think about registering if I find a bit more time, or maybe when Portal 2 hype start to draw me in around release time... :) 173.77.76.37 23:52, March 8, 2010 (UTC)


 * Just register at least for getting rid of the ads. If you register you'll see them only on the main page. Or just use an ad blocker...

Thanks for the deeper information, that was very informative. I'm not American, so while I know many things about the US, I didn't know that. But I guess it's the same everywhere... Klow 01:26, March 9, 2010 (UTC)