It had been two years since Adrian had found, saved, and mated with an eated moose (in that order). They had glorious little moose babies, one with a gas mask head with Adrian's eyes. They lived in a log cabin near White Forest, where Adrian was cooking from breakfast for his moose family. He cracked open some eggs and dropped them into a steel pan, drizzling some olive oil and kosher salt all over them. He hummed the tune of Sweet Home Alabama as he flipped them eggs like Duke Nukem flips some nukems. His moose husband was still half eated, and for good reason, because he was eated by a combine soldier. Who was diddly darn dead in the dirt. Adrian did respectfully bury him and his comrades behind the cabin, since they didn't choose to join the Combine Remnant. They were kidnapped by wild hillbillies and sold off to the Combine.
Meanwhile, a Combine assassin scouted the area. "big moose" she said, running around and looking around like a one two pie. "bazinga" she said, upon spotting the cabin. "calling in omega Charlie force delta niner 1" she said into her walkie talkie. "k" said a combine soldier on the other end, sending in an invasion force made up of Combine Elites, some cremators, and ComMan (the Combine version of Superman).
"Doodadeedahdoo, servin' it up, moose's way." Adrian said, as he slipped a fried egg onto Eated Moose's plate. "appreciative moose sounds" said the moose. "You're welcome, sugarbeans~" he said, blushing at the moose's kindness. Adrian's pet headcrab nudged at his feet, in an attempt to get food. "shut" said Adrian, who then fed the crab a human carcass he found under the floorboards.
Suddenly, the Combine attacked. Adrian gasped, as the Combine broke through the window and shot Eated Moose dead. "NO!" Adrian screamed, the love of his life dropping to the floor, deceased. "YOU MONSTERS! HE WAS JUST A MOOSE!" he screamed, pulling out two MP5s and opening fire into the invasion force. Soldier after soldier dropped like flies, the kids fleeing to their moose room. "I'LL KILL EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU STUPID FUCKS!" Adrian screams, throwing one gun at a soldier, breaking his genitals, and punching an elite, breaking his eye thing. He then pulled out his lightsaber, slicing through the Combine like cheese. "FUCK YOU! AND YOU! HOW ABOUT YOU, TOO??" he screamed, slicing a Combine's head off. "pls don't kill am just combine I no did nothing" said a Combine shotgunner. Adrian felt guilt in his heart, as he didn't think to calmly ask the Combine if they just wanted to talk about their feelings instead. He dropped to his knees and hugged the soldier, sobbing into the soldier's shoulder. The soldier hugged him back, comforting him with sweet words of wisdom. ComMan then flew away and became the king of France.
To be continued....